The Greater Washington Society for Brunch and Bullsh*t

Unable to find any good websites devoted to Brunch in DC, we've endeavored to make our own, devoted to our most faovritest meal of the week and other bullsh*t going on in our lives.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Waking up Hungover to Fuck

I find it truly amazing that I can force my eyes open on a SATURDAY morning at 8am after drinking till 2:30am the night before and falling asleep at 3am. What force on this earth would pry me from my bed you ask? A fire? An earth quake? Zombies (which are a very real and reoccuring fear of mine)?
Nay. My passion for brunch and more importantly my love of cooking and need to impress my friends is what. I can't even get my sorry ass out of bed to do a twenty minute run before work these days, but i seem more than willing to wake up half drunk and play with fire (and a little bit of vomit.)
I began the morning by stumbling into the kitchen without pants on to start the coffee and pop open a club soda. Yes, club soda is my new love. It has replaced my old love so thouroughly I can't even remember what my old love was.
(PS- just looked back at the title. please dont get the wrong idea, i wasn't waking up in order to fuck hungover-ly, i consider "hungover to fuck" to be an adjective in and of itself. If I ever get laid, at this point, I am faily sure it's a sign of the coming apocalypse. Read my blog daily for updates/ warnings)
Right, huh, ok. Making coffee drinking club soda I sit down and look around and decide to come up with a POA (plan of attack.) Upon hearing stirring noises upstairs I decide part one is to put some pants on.
Part two is then to make the frittata, or at least prep for it.
Part three is to watch tv for thirty minutes and collect myself.
Part four is to put on my "the rock" tee shirt and jeans and run to the store for a few more things i forgot. "The Rock" Tee-shirt is far and away the best item of clothing anyone will ever own. I bought it for my friend who somehow earned the name "the rock" senior year of college. Well just among me, her, and my boyfriend at the time. I'm not really sure how it came about, but it was in reference to the wrestler/actor/singer? So shopping one day in a thirft store in edinburgh, I happen across this tee shirt. It's black with lots of graphics on it inclulding a picture of the man, the legend, the god, himself. I bought it and planned to give it to her, but now i just wear it around myself cause its too cool. I cut it up a bit so i look like a midwestern hard core rocker from the early ninties (wayne's world stylee.)
Part five is to return from the store to let robyn in, who is in charge of decorations, and continue with the cooking.
Part six is to change into my sailor outfit and then flip out about weather or not to lay the food on the table now or later.
Part seven is to yell suprise and then eat drink and be merry. Member Dave Mathews had that song and like everyone's senior yeark book quote was tha lyric from it, along the lines of "eat, drink, and be merry we will," or something like that?
Part eight is to do a half asses job cleaning and then start playing beer die.
Part nine is to get in a can fight.
Part ten is to play soccer in the rain.
Part eleven is to yell "dance party" whenever people are walking by the house and we all stand along the porch and start dancing furiously.
Part twelve is desperately wanting to pass out, but realizing you have an amazing show to go to that night.
Part thirteen is convincing birthday girl Maura and her boy J-rod to first go to dinner on U st. at sala thai and then to the show with you.
Part fourteen is rocking out to a majorly good show.
Part fifteen is getting a cab home. While I was in the cab I looked down at my phone and saw metro was still open. I also noticed he was going a round baout way to get to my pad and would probably over charge me. At this point I pretended to answer my phone which was on vibrate in my hand. Here's how the convo went:
Me in back seat of cab looking out window speaking into phone: "Hey"
Silence
"In a cab headed home."
Silence
"Your where?"
Silence
"Your where? I can't hear you."
Silcence, but putting finger over other ear so as to block out "other noise"
"What's the address?"
Silence
"Cool, yeah I'll be there."
Leaning forward to cab driver. "actually sir, can you just drop me off at Woodley park? I'm meeting some friends right around there." I proceed to pay the man $8 and hop out of the cab, thinking, "i'm super clever.."
I take the metro home and eat the left over frittata.

3 Comments:

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Original Birthday Holder said...

Sorry David,
I'll try to make up for it next time by adding a totally uncessesary and unrelated explicit sex scene, if Ruthie B. will let me. Otherwise I'll post something on my personal blog.

 
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